But Most of All

I wrote this piece as part of a poetry journal/final project for a class in seminary called, appropriately, Poetry and the Bible. It came out of a period of time–I believe it was at the middle point of my graduate studies–where I spent quite a bit of time contemplating what my late father would think of my life at that juncture, what it would be like to  discuss life and love with him as an adult, AND regret over not repairing our relationship sooner than we did. 

Feel free to let me know what you think. – Jarrod

 

If I could turn back time

I wouldn’t be Cher,

but I’d go back to Oct 2003 at Wrigley Field

and tackle Steve Bartman.

I’d cut off the first mullet,

steal the first pair of acid wash jeans.

I’d even destroy all the synthesizers.

Well, maybe not Van Halen’s.

I’d beg Wham! to PLEASE put on some pants.

I’d work on the set of Thriller.

I’d fly to San Francisco

and sip on a latte with Harvey Milk,

grab a scone with John Lennon,

even gnaw on some naan with Ghandi;

okay only when he wasn’t striking.

I’d be a Freedom Rider,

sit at Woolworth’s Lunch Counter,

shed tears while standing in awe

as he dreamt at the foot of the Lincoln Memorial.

I’d teach the slaveowners Scripture.

Hell… I’d even try to saddle up on a dinosaur.

But most of all

I’d tell you I’m sorry.

That I forgive you.

That I wish I could take back

all the cruel things that slipped off my tongue.

That I’d do anything to destroy those walls

between us,

the walls we only began to tear down.

That I am here,

strong, brave, confident, able to love

because of you.

If I could turn back time

I would tell you one more time

that I love you.

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